So, I had this weird dream last night.
To start off with, I was walking through the park. It was all grassy and pleasant. Then this cop lady came strolling up to me and told me I was in trouble for speeding. In a car. Like, earlier that day, or something. She saw me a while ago, and thought I needed to learn to cool it. So she didn’t write me a ticket – she just told me I should report to the local jail for a couple days.
So my parents came to pick me up and drive me to prison, and Mom lectured me about how I should know better than this, and Dad told me that I would probably shape up in prison, and it would do me some good, and Andrew just kind of sat in the backseat, looking irritated that all the attention was focused on me.
We had to stop at the recycling plant on the way, so we could drop off this huge bag of soda cans and plastic bottles. And Dad parked in front of this posh-looking business complex and said, “I’m pretty sure this is the place.” Then they locked me in a bathroom stall (so I wouldn’t escape) while Dad toured all 5 floors of the building, muttering, “I don’t understand. I was here 20 years ago, and I distinctly remember the recycling plant being down one of these halls somewhere.” And Mom occasionally found him wandering around and rolled her eyes and told him he needed to ask directions.
After about 1 or 2 hours of sitting in a restroom stall, waiting for my parents to figure out how to get rid of the recycling, it suddenly occurred to me that there was no legitimate reason for me to be in prison. A cop couldn’t cite me for pedestrian speeding anyway. And even if I was speeding earlier, she didn’t have any evidence!
Suddenly, the scene cut to a courtroom, where I was triumphantly pulling off a Perry Mason impersonation, defending my honor and, in general, proving to the world that I was free to walk in any park – unencumbered by restroom stalls – at my own will and leisure.
I woke up proud of myself, and really irritated with my parents. ♠