Prophets, Sea Cucumbers, and Such

So I’m the Primary pianist at church, which means I get to sit in on the kids’ lessons each week, while I wait for singing time. From the piano bench, hidden behind the piano, I did Sudoku while the Junior Primary (ages 7 and under) answered questions timidly and quietly participated.

Then came Senior Primary. Senior Primary was like a shoebox full of squirrels and caffeine. I don’t know what these kids had to eat for breakfast, but it shouldn’t be legal. They were everywhere.

Discussion about following the prophet:
Teacher: Would you follow someone’s instructions if there was a really good reward?
Kid 1: A free Xbox!
Kid 2: Being president!
That Kid: I would do it if there were a baby dolphin made out of rubber diamonds.

Discussion about Noah:
Teacher: I don’t think Noah had to get the sea animals on the boat, because they could swim.
Kid 1 asks a question about being tortured for eternity.
Teacher: Kid 2, what did Kid 1 just ask?
Kid 2: … A question?
That Kid: What about sponges?
Teacher: They’re sea animals.
That Kid: What about sea cucumbers?
Teacher: They’re sea animals.
That Kid: But they’re also cucumbers.

Singing Time:
Teacher: What do you do in the springtime?
Kid 1: Step on flowers!

At some point, a little girl went up to put something on the board or pull something from a bag. I thought she was wearing a garter. On further investigation, it turned out to be a stuffed white monkey strapped to her leg.

I really hope they don’t release me from this calling. And I really hope they don’t call me to be a teacher. ♦



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