The Awkward Alert

Sometimes, I’m just awkward. Okay, most of the time, I’m just awkward – but every now and then, I just kind of stop and think to myself, “Self, why are you doing this?”

This morning, Ethan had his first meeting for student teaching. (Yay!) So I faithfully bounced out of bed, made him breakfast, and….

Yeah, whatever. After about half an hour, he finally gave up trying to drag me out of bed, and I eventually made my way to the shower before the hot water ran out. But the point is, I got up before 8am. And I was fully functional by 10. (For those of you who know me, this two-hour window between consciousness and actual thought is pretty standard.)

So around 9 or 9:30, Ethan had left for the train station, I had made the bed and gotten dressed and puttered around a bit, forgetting why I had walked into certain rooms, and finally decided I should water the garden. We planted the thing a few days ago, in the abandoned weedy section in the front lawn. It’s been obviously set aside for a flower garden or something of the sort, but it’s been more of a rock-and-crabgrass presentation than anything else. So we planted some spinach, radishes, and lettuce in there. Even though nothing’s sprouted yet, the clean dirt looks better than the weeds did. I’m proud of us.

So I went to water the garden. As I reached the top of the steps, I found there was a guy mowing the lawn. (Ah, said my sleepy brain. That explains that sound that sounds like a lawnmower.) So I waved to the guy, considered a moment, and decided to wait a bit so I didn’t spray him or get a hose run over by a mower blade. But the guy thought I was waving to get his attention, stopped the motor, pulled his ear-buds out, and asked what he could do for me.

Nice guy. But I told him I was just waving, and he went back to mowing. And for some reason, there was this “Awkward Alert” going on in my brain that said, “You can’t just go back into the house now – you have to pretend you were on your way to do something! Otherwise….” Otherwise, what? This guy will think I came out of the house just to confuse him? The dude’s not even looking at me.

But the Awkward Alert won out, because my feet were already heading down the driveway. So I decided to walk a bit. It was nice and cool, anyway. I quietly reflected that it had been a while since I’d been dressed and functioning this early – a sad truth, but also a sign of progress. I decided to wander around for a bit, then come back when the mowing sounds were further away.

This is how I ended up doing yoga on an unsuspecting neighbor’s front lawn this morning. I did some stretching and balancing, then just sat in “lotus” position, watching a caterpillar fling itself across the sidewalk by curling into a ball and throwing all its momentum randomly in any given direction. There’s a metaphor in there somewhere, I just know it. I watched some fluffy little birds preening themselves, and was reminded of the ducks we saw doing ducky yoga in the bushes the other day. (Just picture a bush with a webbed foot occasionally stretching out to one side.)

So, thank you, Awkward Alert. I quite enjoyed this morning’s meditations. ♥

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