Food Magnetism

I have an uncanny and unusual superhuman ability: I call it “Food Magnetism.” It means that I have a deep connection with food, one that walls can’t break. It means that when a pizza is wandering alone in the wild, it feels somehow, inexplicably drawn toward me for reasons even the very crust of the pizza can’t explain.

In a nutshell, it means people give me free food all the time. Visit my parents, leave with leftovers. Go to a meeting or reunion, leave with a bag full of cheese puffs. Invite friends over, get a whole banana cake that they refuse to take back with them. When I was working with Mormon Helping Hands during Hurricane Irene, my group got free pizza 4 days out of 5. The 4th day, someone asked me to join their group so they would get pizza – and they did.

Basically, free food follows me around. And I appreciate it quite a bit. I haven’t cooked for days. Yesterday, Ethan volunteered at Espanolandia and came home with three huge bean burritos. This morning, I skipped breakfast and ended up being treated to lunch by some cousins and aunts. (For someone else’s birthday. Will somebody explain that to me? You reach a birthday, I get food…) And I’m not complaining. Two days ago, I washed the dishes. Since then, we have used… chopsticks. No other dishes.


Thanks, family. And friends. And, in general, the universe. ♦


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