My Bedroom is Not My Boss’s Business.

The Supreme Court is hearing arguments against Hobby Lobby for discrimination. The case isn’t about discrimination by race – but by sex. And by “sex,” I don’t just mean gender.

According to the Affordable Care Act, businesses must either cover birth control as a part of their health care insurance package, or face steep fees. This includes both pre- and post-conception forms. But the owners of Hobby Lobby hold a religious belief that life begins at conception, and that any birth control that might interfere with a fertilized egg is wrong.

They’re not imposing this belief on their employees. They just want to opt out of offering IUDs and morning-after pills, which can interfere with the development of a fetus. And Hobby Lobby believes it’s an infringement of their religious beliefs to require them to cover these devices.

There’s a group of protesters showing their argument for birth control with the tagline #NotMyBossBusiness. We’ll overlook the grammatical error for now – let’s just take a look at the argument. These folks say that it’s “not my boss’s business” which form of birth control I use, and my boss should stay out of my bedroom. And I couldn’t agree more. But if it’s “not my boss’s business,”… why is my boss picking up the tab?

If it’s really my own decision when and how I decide to start a family, why is it my boss’s business to pay for my decision? This is like taking your dad’s credit card and telling him it’s not his business what you decide to buy with it. Excuse me – what?

I would consider it an invasion of my privacy if my boss offered to pay for my family planning.

If my boss encouraged me to take birth control, I would be insulted. It would be like sending me a greeting card with a little message written in cursive that said, “Please don’t reproduce.” That’s insulting.

If my boss actually paid for my birth control – regardless of whether I used it – it would be like sending a greeting card full of pills and a note that said, “I don’t really think you’re capable of managing your finances well enough to buy this on your own, so here. Please don’t reproduce.”

If my boss paid for a day-after pill for me, I would be even more insulted. If you plan your sexual life to some extent, you don’t have to use a day-after pill. And I’m not talking about “lose all sense of spontaneity” here. I’m talking “keep a condom in your purse”. That level of planning is all it takes in most cases. And if you really, really don’t want to get pregnant, there is still the option of putting off sex for one day. It’s possible. And it doesn’t cost a cent. When female squirrels don’t want to mate, they chase off the punk males who are hanging around. If you actually can’t control yourself enough to avoid sex until you can use some form of preventative contraception, you have less self-discipline than a squirrel. And if my boss pays for my morning-after pill, it gives the message, “I don’t really think you’re capable of managing your finances well enough to buy this on your own, and I’m pretty sure you have zero control of your own sexual functions, so here. Please don’t reproduce.”

Am I saying that day-after pills are evil? No. Am I saying that the women who use day-after pills are stupid? No. What I am saying is that if you’re going to throw caution to the wind and not use birth-control until after having sex, you shouldn’t expect your boss to pay for it. I’m saying it’s irresponsible to have unprotected sex if you’re not willing to risk a pregnancy. And the government should not be endorsing – let alone enforcing – irresponsible behavior. I sincerely hope the Supreme Court decision on this case comes down in favor of the American people making their own decisions – and paying for them. ♦

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