Ethan and I just found the greatest part of University Mall, Orem/Provo. I have no idea how we missed this previously, but there’s an indoor treehouse for kids in one corner of the mall. And the thing is huge!
Confession: I kinda freaked out. Climbed all up in it. And down in it. Wanted to just move all my stuff in and nestle down and call it home. It’s probably almost as big as our bedroom inside. The thing is huge, realistic, and all-around awesome.
There was a big ol’ fairy tale mural on the wall, and the ceiling was all cloud-and-sunset painted, and there were hanging acorn lamps.
And then we found the dinosaur, and I just about peed my pants. I was so excited. There’s a dinosaur skeleton at the mall. People. If you have not been to see this mall, or if you – like us – have just missed out on it, please go see the dinosaur. If possible, bring toddlers. They’ll freak out in all the best ways.
Are you excited yet? Because I want to go out and buy all the books about dinosaurs there are, an archaeology tool kit, every Indiana Jones movie, and a bag full of plaster of Paris.
Now, take a look at that sign behind the dinosaur. In case you can’t read it, it says “PARENTS do not let children play or climb on top of dinosaur”. What? What?! First off, if it’s not for playing, why is it here? Why would you build a dinosaur in a play area just for looks? Second off, do you really expect a small child to have any kind of restraint around something this awesome? Could any parent actually keep their children off that thing? This is like putting a platter full of chocolate covered strawberries in front of a pregnant woman with a little toothpick flag that says, “For decoration only.” Right. That’s gonna happen.
I’m not bitter. I’ve just decided, in advance, to be the coolest parent ever. (Hold your horses, Mom. Not yet) When we have kids, we’re totally gonna build a treehouse. In the house. And we’re definitely, definitely putting a dinosaur in the yard, for all the neighborhood kids to play and climb on. It’s gonna be the greatest thing. And you know, while we’re at it, I think we should rewrite the Boy Scout manual to reflect Indiana Jones just a little bit more. Take the kids on trips to the lava tubes and stuff like that. Fight bad guys. Look for the Ark of the Covenant. Oh, yeah. Raider Scouts, here we come. ♠