The Art of War and My Landlord

I’m a genius.

And by that, I mean, I’ve found an outlet for my frustrations with the landlord – one that won’t get me evicted or arrested. After trying just about everything (legal) to get our landlord’s attention and get some repairs done, we’ve pretty much decided that we’re on our own. We’re probably gonna have to buy that new oven ourselves. We could go to the city – about the gas-leaking oven and the termites – but if the city requires repairs, the homeowner might actually just evict us. He just wants to take the place down and build a new complex anyway.

Anyways. My brilliant scheme. I just started reading The Art of War when it hit me. Everything that Sun-tzu says a general should do to his enemy is a really, really funny thing for a tenant to do to a landlord.

Disclaimer again: I’m not actually going to do this. As Sun-tzu said, “One who knows when he can fight, and when he cannot fight, will be victorious.” This is not a fight I can fight.

But it is a fight I can pretend to fight – and I’m going to write down exactly how I wish this fight would go – because every college student in Provo has at least one landlord they’ve wanted to wage total war on. And if I can write something that’s worth a few dollars to a student, I might even make some money. At least, enough to buy a working oven.

For now, remember “If they are rested, force them to exert themselves.” (We’ve been trying this one – to no avail – so maybe we’ll have to “Attack where they are unprepared.”) ♦


One thought on “The Art of War and My Landlord

  1. Pingback: A Quotation About Leading From Sun Tzu | Renard Moreau Presents

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