Halloween Flicks for the Faint of Heart

I love Halloween like it was my creepy, undead firstborn child. But I have to admit, as much as I like being creeped out, it doesn’t take much. I don’t watch R-rated movies, and there are quite a few PG-13s I pretty much avoid. I don’t really like blood and guts. Or zombies (don’t hurt me). Or slasher films. Or excessive occult references. Or stupid, teenage protagonists who go out looking for monsters in skimpy underwear.

Read: I like children’s Halloween movies. Basically, if you’re below the age of 5, my house is the happenin’ place to be on Halloween. So, if you’re a wuss, or you’re under the age of 5, or you have kids under the age of 5, here’s my suggestion for you: a list of B-rated Halloween movies that might scare your pants, even if they won’t scare your pants off.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

Dr. Jekyll

Nothing like an old-timey movie.

Trollhunter

Trollhunter

Ah, Norwegian horror. “Why for problem make when you no problem have you no want to make?” …What?

Ghostbusters

Ghostbusters

Who you gonna call?

Hocus Pocus

Hocus Pocus

We’ll run amok. Amok, amok, amok, amok!

The Haunting 

The Haunting

Based on a Shirley Jackson book, and alternately spooky and hilariously dated.

The Screaming Skull

The Screaming Skull

An absolute nightmare for 2-year-olds.

Anything at all with Vincent Price

Vincent Price

Seriously. Look at the guy.

Casper the Friendly Ghost

Casper

It’s my party and I’ll die if I want to…

Nightmare Before Christmas/Corpse Bride

Nightmare Before Christmas

Classic Tim Burton/Classic Tim Burton Returns.

Dracula – the old school one

Dracula

“Listen to them! Creatures of the night!”

Psycho

Psycho

Or any Hitchcock film, really.

The Princess and the Frog

Priness and the frog

Shadowman is terrifying.

Anything with this guy’s voice:

Frankenstein

Frankenstein

Another old-timey classic.

Labyrinth

Labyrinth

David Bowie at his finest.

The Princess and the Goblin

Princess and the Goblin

Man, this was the scariest thing when I was 2.

Gravity Falls

Gravity Falls

A whole TV series of mystery, paranormal hilarity featuring Grunkle Stan and a pig named Waddles.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

You can never be safer than when you’re with Donald Sutherland.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Close Encounters

The only things I really remember about this movie are some dead birds and a sculpture made out of mashed potatoes.

Gremlins

Gremlins

Okay, so it’s set during Christmas. But like Nightmare Before Christmas, nobody really watches this one on Christmas.

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6 thoughts on “Halloween Flicks for the Faint of Heart

  1. Sooo, why would you watch ANY of these movies if you’re under 5? What kind of mother are you?! Except for, maybe, The Princess and the Frog, which I don’t really remember, I can’t imagine letting my young child watch any of them!

    P.S. The Wizard of Oz was your father’s fault. So was Jurassic Park, and you weren’t younger than 5. I blame him for everything.

    • I guess it wasn’t a fault in and of itself, just faulty judgement showing such an intense movie to such a little child. See what it did to you?!! I rest my case. jk:)

      • Yup. Clearly, I’m disturbed. Let’s just shift blame from all family members and say Dorothy Gale did it. Shifty little girl. Dropping houses on people. Wearing red shoes. Throwing apples.

  2. I agree with this list, though I confess I have not seen all of them. just most. If I may add, there is a movie in existence called 1408. It’s the best horror film I’ve ever seen. I do apologize, it is truly terrifying. But, there’s no zombies, minimal violence (let alone gore), I don’t believe there’s anything occult, and the cast is comprised of adults. Like Samuel Jackson.
    Dr. Facilier is horrible, he’s number 4 on my list of wickedest Disney villains. First is Frollo, second is the Horned King, and third is Shan Yu.

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