Talking with Papa today (my husband’s grandfather), he asked about my career aspirations. I told him I’d like to be a history teacher, so while I’m looking into certification programs, I’m aiming at substitute teaching. Papa worked in education for years, as did his wife. As did their daughter, my husband’s mother. My husband’s father is a band teacher. My husband, Ethan, plans to be a Spanish teacher. His cousin is/is planning to be a math teacher. Today, Papa suggested that we should start our own academy, complete with flag and uniforms.
Ethan and I are totally on board. Ethan has named it the “Hicks Unklesbay Thoms Academy,” or HUTA for short. I suggest that our flag feature a mascot, either the honey badger (the Chuck Norris of the animal kingdom) or the duck-billed platypus (the James Bond of the animal kingdom).
I draw the line at capes, though. Papa wanted capes, but I’m lobbying against them. They’re too dangerous. They get caught on rockets, sucked into jet engines, and clothesline you on the top of fences as you Parkour your way through the neighborhood.
If we ever want to be taken seriously (and when I say “be taken seriously,” what I really mean is “run willy-nilly through the backyards of calm suburbia playing capture-the-flag”), capes are simply too dangerous to be a part of the Academy uniform. I would recommend something a little more conservative:
Yes, nothing says sophistication in education like dashing through the neighbor’s lawn, in a jet pack, dressed as Steampunk Abe Lincoln. I can’t wait to be a history teacher. ♦