I hang out with hilarious people. And I think it’s high time for a few choice words to be used out of context:
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Bri: Does your sister display mermaid-like qualities? Does she dress like a manatee with hair? Does she have gills?
Colby to Dallin: You are such a proponent of banana bread!
Ethan: I’m just concerned because Marcos’s wife is cheating on him with someone who’s 34,000 years old.
Jared: That changes my life… not at all… but my perspective, somewhat.
Bri: So, at first he was all, ‘go to church,’ and then suddenly, ‘you’re a mermaid. I hate God’?
Jared: I know it sounds like a lot, but when I say I was wearing 19 knives…
Bri: I’m glad I’m wearing glasses; I just nearly shot jalapeno juice in my eyes. . . . I don’t even know why I’m eating jalapenos.
Wes: Do you really want a girl that likes to butcher cows for fun? … Maybe you should start with something smaller, like duck.
Bri: What planet are you living on where it’s acceptable to coconut people’s pants?
Colby: Ethan is like a turtle, I think.
Lynsey: I’m uncomfortable.
Shawn: That’s probably because you’re still wearing your clothes.
Colby: There’s a lot of more petals in there than you would think, I think.
Kevin: You found my magic taco! Gwuah muah muah!
James: (a 2-year-old) Let’s see, shall we?
Ethan: I have corn in my pocket!
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