A few weekends ago, Ethan and I decided to get married! We wanted to make sure we kept it quiet until we told our families (as we didn’t think it would be best for them to find out via facebook), but once they knew, we weren’t really sure whether we were “engaged” or not. What constitutes being “engaged,” anyway?
I’ve had friends who were “unofficially engaged,” friends who were planning a wedding, but “not engaged yet,” and friends who were “planning to be engaged on such and such a date.” I don’t really understand that. Doesn’t “engaged” mean you’re planning to be married?
As we thought about telling friends, Ethan asked, “On a scale from one to Amish, how traditional are you?”
I’m not sure I understood that, either. “Pennsylvania Dutch?”
We decided to be engaged, and to tell people that. We were excited! But we were perplexed when people informed us that we weren’t “officially engaged” yet, because I didn’t have a ring, and he hadn’t proposed in some elaborate manner.
If I tell you I’m engaged, would you tell me I’m not? I don’t get that.
So I took one of my cheap, Wal-Mart rings, put it on my finger, and quieted the doubts in many minds. I’m still perplexed, however, when people ask to see the ring before they ask my fiance’s name. I think it’s because so many girls grow up planning their wedding their whole lives: they want the perfect dress, the perfect ring, the perfect ceremony, and… they’re not sure yet who the groom will be, but he’ll probably be perfect, too. The wedding becomes more important than the marriage, because they spend more time imagining the wedding. I’m not saying that I’m not excited for my wedding. And I love the ring Ethan bought for me. But I love it because he bought it for me – and I’m excited for the wedding because it marks the beginning of forever with my best friend.
As we’re planning, we’re excited. But we want to make sure we’re more focused on our life together after the wedding than on the wedding itself. After all, that’s what really matters.
So, on a scale from one to Amish – how traditional are you? ♥