I’m not really sure how it came to this. It all started out as an April Fools “good morning,” and now… it’s war in the streets.
My parents gave squirt guns to me and Ethan for Easter. They know us.
Needless to say, there have been several small-scale water fights in the past few weeks. And the only reason there haven’t been more is that my squirt gun suddenly disappeared. I had hidden it under the metal stairs outside Ethan’s apartment, thinking to myself, “Self, I’m so clever. Now when we’re walking back from campus, I can drop back a few feet, produce a gun – seemingly out of thin air – and, voila! Ethan becomes an unsuspecting victim!
Okay, so maybe it’s a devious plan. But what plan involving a squirt gun isn’t?
Anyways. The squirt gun mysteriously disappeared a short while ago. And whilst I wondered about the absence of said squirt gun, I saw a facebook post on my ward’s page: “If anyone lost a squirt gun, I have it!!! If you can describe what it looks like you can have it back. :D”
Now, who would take a perfectly good squirt gun from a perfectly good (and possibly obvious) hiding place, and then hold it ransom? I ask you!
Anyways. One thing led to another, and it came to ward-wide insults. I’m still not sure how it happened, but one of my friends is now Switzerland, another just became Japan, my boyfriend is fascist Italy, and I’m alternately being compared to Nazi Germany and North Korea. All because I asked for my squirt gun back, and Marlene wasn’t sure whether she was willing to give me back my own weapon. I’m just worried we’re about to start a third World War. And I’m just glad that I don’t know of anybody who has an automatic water pistol. ♠