Driving Submarines

Last night I was in the kitchen, talking with my friend Brian, when my roommate Brianna poked her head out of the bedroom door. She was on the phone.

“Can you drive a submarine?” she asked us.

Man, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve been asked that. Brian and I exchanged a look – a look that confirmed that yes, Bri might be crazy, and no, neither of us could drive a submarine. She clarified that she meant the verb itself – whether a submarine could be driven, or whether it should be piloted. Brian and I, in our expertise, decided that a submarine could do pretty much whatever it wanted to do, and the verb really didn’t matter much at all. Bri seemed to accept that answer, and ducked her head back into the room, door closing.

A few minutes later, conversation in the kitchen died down a bit, and we heard Brianna’s voice in the bedroom – still on the phone – saying, “Well, Brian and Rachel said they could drive a submarine.” We decided to do some eavesdropping. The next thing we heard was, “With a 4-foot wooden dowel?” and just a few minutes later, Bri reappeared. “Is a toe considered a limb?”

Only 10 minutes later, I came into the bedroom to hear her ask, “Now, when you say you don’t cut people…”

Now the question on my mind is, how worried should I be? ♦


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