Why I Hate Multiple-Choice

Prepare for a lot of stinging….

Because I’m pretty much about to destroy my History professor.

I’m taking a course online. And I’m notoriously bad at multiple-choice. So I study, right? A lot. Here’s the routine:

1. Review “Learning Objectives” prior to reading the chapter. You know – just to get a good idea what to look out for.
2. Review “Key Terms.” Same purpose.
3. Find “Key Terms” in textbook, define them, and highlight them. So I know what to look for.
4. Read chapter. (Reviewing “Key Terms” and “Learning Objectives” as I go.
5. Write an essay. Get at least 94% on said essay. Clearly, I know what I’m talking about, right? Right.
6. Give it a few days to percolate. Let my brain settle.
7. Make flash cards of “Key Terms” and “Learning Objectives.” Look up definitions again, and review.
8. Look over the chapter and ensure that I know what I’m talking about.
9. Begin open-book quiz, textbook close at hand.
10. Double-check every question, just to be sure I’m getting it right.
11. Click “Submit,” with fingers crossed.
12. Get a 50 or 57% score, with minor explanations about nit-picky details that the textbook doesn’t actually state in the first place.

I’ve come to a personal conclusion: the man who invented multiple-choice testing deserves to die. Only he doesn’t deserve to be sentenced; he deserves to have to choose his demise from a bank of 5 options, nearly identically worded, and all of them ending in slow, horrible, gruesome, torturous, painful death. ◊

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